So Tinder has been absolutely every bit as unproductive in getting a date as I expected it to be.
I did get a few matches, but always got unmatched – normally before I even sent a message, though at least once I got unmatched after sending a message. Harsh but it is the world of online dating when you are aesthetically challenged.
There were some interesting opportunities on there:
And like, who the hell is she? “I don’t believe in democracy”.
And then there were those that seem to think that I’d be attracted to date a chocolate bar – god knows what kind of creeps and freaks they get right-swiping them. At least I put my ugly face on there!
And Cheetos? FML.
It is enjoyable seeing photographs of attractive women, but I may as well accidentally load the Victoria’s Secret website instead, for all the help that is to my love life.
So Tinder goes down as a complete fail. Maybe this will be the conclusion after everything that I attempt going forwards. I kind of expect that to be the case.
Though I also have a suspicion that Tinder really is the worst for unattractive males – not to mention that I have quite a lot of competition, 13% of men use Tinder in the UK against 10% of women.
Well it seems obvious, but I guess I’ll try Bumble next.
Perhaps it will offer slightly more normal human beings, perhaps something a little less beauty-centric. I did read in Freakonomics that being fat is less of an impediment to men, when it comes to attracting women, than being short – or bald. So perhaps I’m not at the highest disadvantage that I could be.
Maybe I could also write a more bullshitty profile – pretend I’m an estate agent…well…not to the point of putting that as my job. Perhaps describe myself as spacious, located in a great neighbourhood. Not to mention fantastic. And wonderful.
Also I feel like I should go to this Brexit Speed Dating event in Balham. Alas, it is on a Wednesday evening and I live on the other side of London. And I don’t want to date a Brexit-voter – I seriously don’t!
But it would make a good blog post.
I’ll let you know once my Bumble profile is ready to go.